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Jonah’s Prologue:
About a year ago, my cousin Chrizelle told me she was going to get married in Maui at the end of February. Jackie and I, ever eager to start our next adventure, booked travel accommodations in May of 2013 and shortly thereafter I began making plans to propose to her while on a beautiful vacation in paradise.
In the months after booking our vacation, I began researching engagement rings. There was a lot to learn about the 4 C’s of diamonds, and much more to learn about Jackie’s taste in jewelry. She’s always been fond of unique, hand-crafted, Polynesian jewelry, but did not wear nor own many rings. I would try to be observant whenever we window shopped at jewelry stores; she would point out mother of pearl necklaces, interesting wood earrings, or the occasional silver or white gold floral design, but (at least to my knowledge) no rings ever stood out and captivated her attention. Every jeweler I visited and every suggestion I heard to try out a chain store like Shane Co or Jared, left me feeling defeated. Nothing I saw seemed special enough and nothing I could buy in a store seemed to convey how I felt. Thus began my quest for something custom.
There were local stores that dealt in antique and custom rings, but after searching online, I found a wood ring maker out of Chicago that fit the bill perfectly. They built the ring with my intentions, incorporated the materials that I requested, and were able to securely mount the loose diamond that I had sent them. Pictures and details of the ring can be seen here. It took 4 months to go from concept to completion, but I now had a truly one of a kind ring that I would be proud to have grace Jackie’s finger. Next was probably the hardest part of proposal planning: asking her parents for their blessing.
I’ve known for a while that getting her parents blessing was important to Jackie, but I’m not sure she knew how important it was to me. I wasn’t just asking her to marry me; I was asking her to be part of my family and for me to be part of hers. I wanted her parents to know how I felt and I wanted to give them an opportunity to learn more about myself and my family. Finding a way to have this conversation with her parents was hard, especially without Jackie knowing, but I found my opening after spending this past Christmas with them.
Jackie had work the Saturday after Christmas, so I arranged with her parents to drop off some “last minute gifts” for them while she was at work. When I called to set up the gift drop, I also asked if they would both be available to talk for a bit. The gift was simple: a couple bottles of wine and a wine glass set that fit well with the other dinnerware gifts they had received from us a few days prior. The conversation was difficult: I was more nervous than I had ever been; I could hear my voice shake and I could feel my palms sweat. The conversation lasted close to 45 minutes and in that time I don’t think I ever fully regained control of my nerves, but I do believe I conveyed my thoughts and feelings as truthfully as possible.
I told them how much I love Jackie. How I will always respect her and take care of her to the best of my ability. I told them why this conversation and their blessing were important to me and that I wanted them to feel free to ask me anything, and they did. They asked me about our plans for the future, about my family and its history, about the wedding, and most importantly, about whether or not I was sure. They wanted to make sure I wasn’t being pressured into proposing by her or anyone.
We’ve been together for 6 years, I love Jackie and I can’t imagine a future without her, so I’m definitely sure that this is what I want. Even though my family and friends had recurring quips of Jackie and I being “next,” I never took it as form of pressure to get married. You can’t be coerced into doing something you already want to do. The whole conversation was longer and more in depth than I had anticipated, but I appreciated their concern, and will long remember these questions for when I may need to ask them. After some tears from her mother and some thoughtful stares from her father, I got their blessing, a hug, and a handshake. Her brother, who was eavesdropping upstairs, even came down to give me his blessing! So, I had the ring, I had the blessing, I was developing plans on how to propose, all I needed was the “yes!”
After consulting with friends who had been to Maui before, and after doing my own research of the island, I had made plans to propose at the volcano summit of Haleakala after watching the sunrise. I created pages of “fun facts” about the island and all the locations we would visit during our trip. I read off facts about Maui on the plane before arriving, and read more to her as the trip progressed with each location and activity. The plan was to watch the sunrise together at Haleakala a couple days after my cousin’s wedding (when the majority of my family had left the island), and I would read to her some facts about the summit, then transition into fun facts about our relationship: the number of weddings we’ve gone to together, how many sunrises there have been since we started dating (I’m cheesy, I know). Then I would tell her how I feel, drop to one knee, and ask her to marry me, at the start of a new day, at the top of a volcano, with colorful sunlight shining on us and the rest of the beautiful island below. Romantic right?
That’s not how it went down at all.
Plans are ironic. You can design, plot, and scheme all you want, but it will never go as you expect. We woke up early as planned, drove for a few hours in the dark, through switchbacks and steep inclines, to get to Haleakala’s vista. We had an extra blanket from the hotel to keep us warm and I had a bottle of champagne in a bag of ice hidden in my backpack, ready to celebrate the occasion. We arrive at the summit and even in the pitch black of morning you could tell it was the worst conditions possible for viewing the sunrise. Clouds, fog, overcast, wind, and rain greeted us at the top. Jackie remained hopeful to watch a beautiful sunrise, none the wiser to my plans to propose. I was devastated, but could not show it. I had to remain hopeful that this weather would clear up and we’d end up with a fantastic setting for the proposal. We find a spot, huddle up in our blanket to protect from the elements and wait. And wait. The sky goes from black to a miserable grey. The surest part of my plan, the sun rising, did not happen. We wait for 30 minutes after the sun was supposed to rise to see if the sky would clear, but the weather does not let up. Jackie suggests we start the rest of our day, which was dedicated to the Road to Hana, and I try to not let my disappointment show, but by then it was palpable. Time for Plan B.
All my efforts went towards a sunrise proposal, but my Plan B was to choose a beautiful spot along the Road to Hana (a trip around the more tropical side of the island), and propose there. We had a GPS app that navigated us, provided fun facts about that side of the island, and pointed out all the best places to stop. Hours after the Haleakala debacle, and after miles of winding road through tropical rainforest, we make our first stop at Keanae peninsula. It was gorgeous. Raindrops here and there, but the view was sublime. Huge lava rocks circled the peninsula and big, azure blue waves crashed on them. It was as good a spot as any to make my move. I waited for a tour bus to leave, I set the camera down ready to record, but another tour bus rolls in! And another! Now this beautiful secondary option had bus loads of other tourist roaming the background taking pictures and causing a distraction that I was not prepared to deal with. We take a few more photos of our own and decide to move on.
At this point, I’m fighting one of the worst internal struggles of my life. I’ve planned and waited for this moment for months and things were just not working out how I had wanted them to. Plan A failed, Plan B failed, time for Plan B-2. All things considered, the day thus far was still a fun adventure and Jackie seemed to be having a pretty good time, but I was getting pretty anxious and trying hard to not let my disappointment from the first couple of stops show. We back track up the road a little and stop at Keanae Arboretum, a place designated for the growth of an assortment trees and plants. Earlier in our road trip, Jackie heard the GPS commentary on rainbow eucalyptus trees and was enthusiastic about seeing them. The arboretum had a nice little grove of them so now I had my best and last opportunity to make a memorable proposal.
We park and start our ½ mile walk to the grove of rainbow eucalyptus. I’m hopeful and excited. The proposal was finally going to happen! Then about halfway to our destination, it starts raining on us again. It was the heaviest rain of the entire trip. It felt like serendipity; like fate was having a good laugh. But I was tired of having this internal struggle, I decided to stop fighting the weather and the circumstances and just embrace it for all its imperfections. The rain soaked through my jacket and wet the small jewelry box that held the ring. I took it as a good omen. Jackie and I are drenched from head to toe, but are determined to reach the trees. We make it and take refuge under the rainbow eucalyptus. I set the camera down to record, telling her that “we’ll just strike a couple of poses while it records and take a screen shot of the video for pictures.”
I hesitate. I have no idea what to say because the speech I had prepared was set for a sunrise proposal. I have to shoot from the hip and speak from the heart. I tell her that this was something I meant to do this morning, but that there was no time like the present to do it. My anxiety gets the better of me and I fumble my words here and there. I begin to cope by kissing her now and again, and I end up speaking much longer than I intended. But at a certain point, I find my calm amongst the storm and say:
“I will love you long past when the sun ceases to rise. Through whatever twists and turns our road of life takes us, we’ll weather the storm together.”
I drop to one knee.
“Jacqueline Gavieres Sarmiento, will you marry me?”
Jackie’s Epilogue:
Then Jonah opened a wooden box containing the most beautiful ring he designed just for me. In total shock, I just nodded and whispered “Yes” as tears of joy (and rain) streamed down my face. I couldn’t believe it. There we were completely alone in the arboretum, soaked from head to toe underneath some rainbow eucalyptus for refuge. It was the most unique, memorable and perfect proposal in the most imperfect way.
After the engagement, we rushed back to the car to dry off and continue our Road to Hana adventure. Just before we take off, Jonah opened his backpack and whipped out his “fun facts” folder and a bottle of champagne –held in what I presume used to be a bag of ice, but was now a water balloon. He read aloud facts about Haleakala, the amount of sunrises since we became a couple in 2008, and then segued into his Plan A proposal speech. I laughed, I cried, and I felt the love and wholehearted efforts he made in asking me to be his wife.
The rest of the day was a blast. We didn’t have any cell phone reception for the next 8+ hours of our day and got to enjoy our temporarily secret engagement exploring Maui’s lush windward side. We embraced the weather and enjoyed the journey together. Now on to the next adventure…
